Trying new things for dinner

So tonight I made Pistachio crusted pork chops with homemade pasta and a Mustard Tarragon cream sauce. I am always looking for new ways to cook food and getting my kids to try some thing different. Being diabetic makes it a little harder as I need to watch the crabs I eat.
One thing I have found is that regular pasta does not react with me the way it does for most diabetics. Normally you can only have about 1 cup of pasta, but for me I can eat a huge pate full and still have my blood sugars in range. Any other diabetic would be sky high. Now they make a pasta for diabetic called "Dream Fields". They say it's not something for those who are not diabetic to really eat a lot of, but it the carbs in it work differently and a diabetic can eat more of it. I found out that for it does not work. If I eat just a 1/4 of a cup of this pasta it send my blood sugars sky high.
I know, it is very strange. I like to think that it's my Italian blood that is say "Are you kidding me!!! No respectful Italian would eat that stuff." But seriously, I have no clue as to why Dream Fields pasta does the opposite with me, but I am glad it does. I did not like the taste of it at all. It was kind of pastie.
Anyways, last night I made Beef kabobs with couscous salad, cucumber yogurt, and hummus. I actually had about 2 cups of the couscous and I used Naan instead of pitas. I cut them into wedges. I had about 4 of those. My blood sugar after dinner was 113, which is great.
I don't always eat like I should (the type of foods), so I have trying to be better and eat more of the food I should be eating or trying to find a way to lower the carbs. I really wish my kitchen was a restaurants kitchen, fully stocked all the time and all the cooking equipment too, oh and lets not forget someone to clean up all my messes, lol. I think I would be in heaven.
Well it is time to change the ol' pod (insulin pod). Til next time.

Birthday Party

So today we are going to a birthday party for one of the kids who came to Sofie's party. I enjoy being around the people and love the food. We were suppose to go swimming today, but it's raining out. So a no go on swimming. I got my stitches out yesterday, ouch! It's nice being able to move my thumb like normal again. If I did not mention it before, I had trigger thumb. Last June I started to get a dull pain at the bottom of right thumb. I hate going to the Dr's so I put it off, thinking maybe I just pulled a muscle. Well it did not get better. I was laying Sofie down one night and laid her down wrong and she unbent my thumb which shot a sharp pain through it. I called the Dr the next morning. We did x-rays to rule out arthritis. Then I was sent to a hand Dr and found out I had Trigger thumb. I went last Weds for surgery to fix it. I could have done a steroid shot, but because of my diabetes, it may not have worked and I would have to wait 3-4 weeks to see if it did work. I did not want to wait, so opted for surgery. It's still a little sore, but at least I can un-bend it like before.

Well I have to go get in the shower and get ready for the party. Oh and so does little miss Sofia. Who is right now playing on the floor with little water toypedos, rubbing them in her hair. There is never a dull moment with her. I love watching her and am amazed at how smart she is. She truly lights up my life. 

I have an idea I will be working on for the Pods I wear. I have a lot of research to do on it and not sure what all I have to do. I tried to ask my son, but he tends to get anal anytime I ask him a question, like I should know all the answers to everything already so I don't have to bother him. So I guess I will be on my own for now. When I find out more, I will blog about it.


So..........
The birthday party was fun. I love the food!!! They had a whole pig, rice and beans, jicama (which I thought were potatoes with lard on it, lol but they were good), macaroni salad, a pork sandwich, cake and jello. They had 3 piñata's for the kids and some games like musical chairs for the kids and adults. Sofie was a hit, lol. All in all, it was nice to be out and around other people and I always love trying new food.

Catching up and pet peeves

I am so bad at blogging, lol. But really I get in these moods of depression and really don't want to do anything. Then there is spark that gets me so wound up that I have to get it off my chest.

So I come back to my blog to write about it. But before I do, let me do a quick catch up on things. Sofia is getting so big. I wish life had a remote control so I could pause her from growing up so fast. She is cutting about 4-8 teeth right now, she already has 7 teeth. She talks a lot and no matter where she goes people have to stop and see her and talk to her.

This was taken the other day.

So since my last post, we have finally moved. I have not been keeping up with my diabetes as well as I should be, shame on me. I just had surgery last Weds. for trigger thumb on my right hand and I get the stiches out tomorrow. Relationship wise, well that should be a blog all on it's own. Sometimes I would love to post about it on Facebook, but with him and his uncle being on my friends list, it hard to. Sometimes I think I am asking too much, but then other times, I think it's more that he wants everything without having to give up anything. I am very independent on a lot of things and I sometime expects everyone to be the same. When it comes to Daniel, it seems he has a problem saying no to everyone in HIS family, but me. Maybe that's because in the back of his mind I really am not his family. The way he is and the things he does pushes me away from him. I just want to scream at him "Tell your mom NO!!!" "Tell your family to leave you ALONE!!!!" "Tell them to do things on their OWN!!!", but he won't do it. He is so afraid of them walking out and leaving him.

Why does he feel this way, you may ask? Well his own mother walked out and left him when he was about 2 and then came back and took him from his father. She was always sending him off to stay with his grandmother and Godmother, while she did what she wanted. He sees it as her letting him visit and spend time with family, but how many moms out there would put their 5 year old child on a bus for 8 hours alone to visit family? Being a mom, I could never see myself doing this. Especially in the middle of the night. She then once again leaves him when he was 15 to come to the states with her boyfriend. She left him with no home and no money and he wonders why I don't want a thing to do with his mother and why I don't like her (besides things she has done to me personally as well).

I feel as though I am fighting with "the other woman", which in a way I am. It's like he is married to her and I am the mistress. It's really destroying our relationship and he won't see it, even when I talk to him about it. He goes on defense no matter what I say about his mother. It's like I am married to my ex all over again, except instead of it being alcohol and drugs I am pushed aside for it's his mother. All I know is that I won't stay for long in this kind of relationship. It makes me think I am much better off without any men in my life at all, because all they do is let me down and it's one more thing I don't need to stress out about. Dealing with diabetes is a lot to handle on it's own.

So on to dealing with my diabetes. I came across a blog today from a woman with type 1 and I "Hot Button" post. I so feel the same way. She was talking about how she was having a conversation with someone who asked her about diabetes and during this conversation someone nearby come over and joined in the conversation and thought to correct her on her knowledge of diabetes. Problem with this is that the person correcting her was not a doctor, nor were they a diabetic. I really hate it when people do this. I mean just because you know someone who knows someone who is diabetic, does not make you an expert now on diabetes. My own mother is a type 2 diabetic and I knew nothing about diabetes UNTIL I became diabetic myself.

I also read a post of hers about the difference between type 2 and type 1. When I tell people that I am diabetic I usually get asked, "Type 2?" A normal assumption, but not correct. When I say I am type 1, the next question is how long have I been type 1 or at what age in my childhood was I diagnosed. Most of what society knows about diabetes is so very vague. I had a woman argue with me that my Endocrinologist was wrong in diagnosing me as type 1, because you can only be type 1 if you have diabetes from childhood. This was coming from a woman who only had Gestational diabetes. It's like a woman who has only had a miscarriage early on telling a woman who is 38 weeks pregnant what child birth is like or a woman who has given birth to a child and never had a miscarriage, what it is like to have a miscarriage or even a man telling a women what child birth feels like.

So I asked my Dr and he assured me (not that I ever doubted him in the first place) that he knows what he is doing and how to test and diagnose someone as type 1. Type 1 can be distinguished from type 2 diabetes via a C-peptide assay, which measures endogenous insulin production.

Here is what I read in Daley's post about the difference between type 2 and type 1. "Type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune chronic illness that is not brought on by diet or lifestyle. We have to have insulin all day everyday (because we don’t produce it anymore), and our blood sugars are affected by everything we do, not just by the food we are putting in our bodies. Type 2 Diabetes for some is caused by lifestyle and obesity (which is in the persons control) and for others age and genetics (which are not in the persons control). People with Type 2 diabetes still produce insulin; their bodies are just insulin resistant. This disease can be controlled by diet and exercise, but in cases where the disease has progressed the person may be put on oral medication and/or insulin injections."

So given the fact that my Dr did a C-peptide on me and my pancreas does not work at all, I am a type 1 diabetic.

So my pet peeve today is educate yourself before opening your mouth and thinking you know more then the person who has the disease. Also, just because someone is diabetic does not mean that can not eat sweet, or starches, we can eat them as long as we keep it in our carb range. I can not tell you how many looks I get from people judging me when they know I am a diabetic and eating some sweets.

I am off to research some more. I hope to get a blog going on low carb foods sometime in the future. So keep checking back. Oh and I will try to get back in here and post more then once every so many months. Sorry about that.

New baby

So it's been a while since I have been on here and posted. I am still learning about blogging and how to do it and everything. Plus I have to be honest, I have gotten lazy, lol. There is so many places I would like to take this blog and I just don't know how to do it, so please bare with me as I try and figure all this out.

So an update as to what is going on in life right now.


I had my baby girl on March 7th (I will post a birth story later). She is my biggest baby at 7lbs 4.5oz. I thought for sure she would come early, but nope she was too comfy where she was. After I had her, it did not seem like my blood sugars returned to normal as fast, but then again, I did not know what a normal diabetic was like. Since finding out I had diabetes, I was pregnant most of the time. The only time I was a normal diabetic was in between being pregnant and miscarring, but I kept my blood sugar levels as if I were pregnant.

I went to my Endocrinologist 2 weeks after I had Sofia just to talk about what my OmniPod meter should be set at and where my blood sugar levels need to be. I learned 2 things, one I am still on the same carb amount as when I was pregnant ( I thought it would go up some). I don't crash nearly as much anymore, but I am not as strict as I was being pregnant either. I tend to skip more meals. I am finding it hardest to eat 3 meals and 3 snacks a day.

One thing I would like to do is start adding some recipes. I get a cooking magazine in the mail every 2 months and they add in the nutrition information, which I love and I really love these magazines. I have been getting them since 2003. They are Cuisine at Home. What I like the most, besides the great recipes, is that there is no advertisements. It is purely recipes, tips and information. I hate cooking magazines where they have more ads then recipes and no pictures of the recipe. I love to see what I am making looks like in the end for 2 reason. One you eat with your eyes, so if it looks good then I am more willing to make it; and two I want to know that what I make looks the same. This way if I did something wrong, usually I will know by how it looks.

I am hoping to add more information on what I have learned and still learning about diabetes and provide links as well.

I hope to teach others about diabetes, eating as a diabetic and that life does go on and it can be a good life if you make it that way. Don't get me wrong, I still have days where I hate my life and hate having diabetes, but there is nothing I can do to change having daibetes. I can only change how I live with it and I try to remind myself of that when I get depressed.

So Happy living, learning and eating ;)

Had a scare today

So I thought we would go out, any where. I just wanted to get the kids out of the house for a while. So we decided to go eat and as I am driving, I started to get what I thought were braxton hicks contractions, until a few of them were a little painful and I had to breath through them. We get to the resaurant and they kind of stopped, I just felt pressure. So we eat and everything and then leave. Daniel wanted to get a new cell phone, so we headed back home to get his old one and then head to Best Buy. While driving the contractions start back up and again a few I had to breath through. We get to Best Buy and start looking at the phones, when I got a contraction that made me double over and have to hold onto the counter and breath through.

Daniel asked if I was ok and if we needed to go, I said no, I just need to go to the bathroom. So when the contraction ends I head for the bathroom, Daniel said he was coming with me. I get another contracton, but it's not painful, then right before I get to the bathroom, I get another one and I am doubled over again. I breath through it and when it finally ends I go to the bathroom. I had a couple more after that, but then I stopped.

If I had one more that doubled me over I was going to call my OB and head to the hospital. I think I have been under too much stress lately and it could be causing them. I will see how the rest of the weekend goes and call my OB on Monday to let her know what happened.

It did not help having the baby on my bladder either. I don't know why but I keep getting a feeling this baby might come early. I hope not, but we will see how it goes.

Dec 1st

Well I went to see my Endo on Nov. 19th. My A1c is still at 5.1, so we are doing good there. He was concerned with me having too many lows after fasting. He said he can handle the between 65-70, but he did not like the 50-47 ones, so he lowered my overnight doses and it does not seem to be doing much. They are mostly in the low 60's (65-60). Although this morning it was at 140, not sure if it was due to what I ate before bed, but I was at 146 1 hour after I ate a snack, so it should have been fine and I did do a correction bolus for it.

I will have to keep an eye on it.

Today I go to my high risk OB for an Echo ultrasound and see how Sofia's heart is doing. She is pretty active and man does she really love my bladder. I guess she thinks it's her own personal pillows to burel into and trampolin. All I can say is it's NOT fun for me at all.

I am 3 weeks away from hitting my 28th week of pregnacy. I know a lot of women who notice their blood sugar becoming more uncontrollable at this time, due to the placenta producing a hormone which makes our body more insulin resisant. I also know that this is around the time when the placenta could start to break down and fail.

Just when you think there is a moment of relief and you can relax, becasue you have made it through the stressful part of the risk for miscarriage and the development of the baby, now you have to worry about whether or not your placenta will be be healthy enough to make it though to the end or if it will start to die and fall apart before your close to your due date. My Age does not help much in the factor either. Even though I still feel like I am in my late 20's, I am not and my body knows it.

So onward and upward to new hights and new adventures in the world of Life with diabetes. 

Drama with supply delivery

So I used to recieve my shipment of pods, lancets, and test strips on the 13th of every month. Then it went to the 15th. I get a call on the 11th saying how Abbott the company that makes the test strips I use for my meter, is no longer going to make them. So they have to send me a new meter. Now the meter I have is like a all in one kind, where I test my BS and it communicates with my pod on the amount of insulin I should have or take.

When I put the test stip in the meter and test my blood, it will then say "Are you going to eat now?" If yes then I push the button for yes, it will then ask "How many Carbs?" So I put in the amount of carbs I will be eating and it will then suggest the amount of insulin I need, so I puck the ok button and it asks to comfirm, I push confirm and the it commuincates with my pod and says "Delivering insulin".

So now with having to use a new meter that does not commuincate with my pod, I have more steps that I have to take to get my insulin. Like I don't have enough going on in life already that I have to do for my diabetes.

So the 15th comes and goes with no delievery of my pods. I am wearing my last pod I have and it expires on the 17th at 10:22 am. Although I can wear it longer until the pod is at the end on the insulin it is holding.

So I wait and here is the 16th and still no delievery. I finally call the Omnipod company to get the number to the company that delievers my supplies. I explain to her what was going on. Now mind you, I am wearing my last pod and I am pregnant. The only other way to give myself insulin is my a suringe. Not a lot of fun and I have no clue how much to give because, I only have Novolog, which is a fast acting insulin and only should be taken when I eat. I have no long acting insulin that will help all day and all night. I have already suffered 3 miscarriages due to my blood sugar going over 200.

So the rep from OmniPod, calls the company who ships the suppiles. She comes back and tells me that they shipped it and said they tried to deliver it but no one was home, so it is sitting at the post office. She tells me to call the post office and make sure it is there and she will call me back in 10 minutes, so that if it is not there, she can see what she can do to get me some pod until my shipment comes in. So I call the post office and give them the tracking number. They can not fid it at all. The rep never called back, so I called the shipment company and explain all this to them. After about an hour on the phone with this rep, she says she will over night a new shipment and that if we find the other one to call back and so they can send me a return label and send it back.

So now the 17th rolls around and my pod starts beeping to let me know it expires at 10:22 am. So I hit the button for ok or else it will beep about every 10 minutes. The day goes by and still nothing. Oh and when I went to bring the kids to the end of the driveway at 6:55am to catch the bus for school, there is a box on front of the door. I think great my pods, nope, it was my new meter. So I wait all day and nothing, I finally call the company back and she tells me that they give the UPS until 7:00 pm and if they don't deliver to call back. This was around 5:30pm. About 15 mintues after the phone call the UPS truck shows up and I finally got my pods.

I just now got a phone call from the post office saying they found my shipment. it is 10:00 am on the 18th. 3 days after my shipment was supposed to here.

I have never had any problems with my shipments before and after this, I hope I never will again. I hate the thought of having to give myself shots and it is not fun at all, plus I only have 1 suringe, so I would have to re-use it with each shot.

Now that that drama is over with, I need to start cooking my Thanksgiving dinner as we are having it on Sunday due to Daniel's work schedule. I wish I could use my pregnacy to eat a ton of food, but the truth of it is that I don't eat as much as I used to before. So I can't use the excuse I'm eating for 2. I guess this baby does not want to be plump at birth, lol. It would be nice if she would stop using my bladder as her own personal trampoline. I feel like I need to run to the store to get a pack of Depends to wear now.

Life with Diabetes II

I got my divorce in Oct of 2010. Custody was a nightmare. The judge we had, retired in Dec and we got a new judge. Let me just make this very clear, I hate the state of North Carolina! The only good things that have come from me moving here are Sierra, Caden and Daniel. This state claims to be for the children and what is right for them, bullsh*t!!!!!

How can a state give 50/50 custody to a father, where you have shown then pictures of him drinking and smoking pot? How is it the a judge does not listen to a child when she tells you she does not want to be with her father? This man has countlessly left our daughter up at night, from the age of 5 watching horror movies alone, while he passed out in his bed from drinking. It's not hard to see that there is a big problem here. Not only that but you also have the child's therapist telling you that "If it's not broke, don't fix it." like 3 times in court. No the 3 restraining orders I had gotten on him did not mean a thing. Him coming to our house at 9:20pm demanding I let him watch baseball with the kids was no big deal. He was drunk and pounding on my door and then would not leave. It was a school night and the kids were getting ready for bed, not only that, but they don't like watching sports on tv.

This same man, who went out to lunch with me, a friend and our son, had 2 very tall glasses of beer (each glass held at least 2 beers each), wanted to drive our son home. Clearly there is nothing wrong with that in this judges eyes. All because he passed the alcohol assement test. Yeah, well I could walk in there drunker then a skunk and still pass it with flying colors. When you lie your whole life, saying "No, I'm not an alcoholic." There is no problem passing this test. Really, take a hair follicle sample. I had a digital voice recorder with messages from my ex, threating to come up to my house and take my kids from me. was able to prove him calling me over 100 times on my home phone and cell in one night. Him telling me I need to be at home with HIS babies. I was at work and went out for a bite to eat afterwards. I was home by 11:30. He left a message saying he knew I was not home all night long, he drove by. And yet, this judge seen nothing wrong with this type of behavor.

This new judge was a DA and only too the position of family court judge, until a spot opened for criminal court. She had not clue at all about family laws and never should have been in the position.

I got pregnant again in Oct of 2010, and with all the stress I was dealing with and my diabetes, I lost this one as well. My endocrinologist, had put me on insulin shots. Novolog and Lantus. It killed me to have to give my self shots, something I never wanted to do, but I had no choice. One morning while I was at work, my blood sugar crashed. It dropped down to 37. I am surprised I did not pass out. A girl I worked with was a diabetic as well and she passes out when her blood sugar is not even that low. I called my endocrinologist's office to let them know. The nurse called me back and said my Dr wanted me to increase my inuslin in the morning. I asked her if she was sure about that. I mean I know I am new and all to diabetes and insulin, but that just did not sound right. Why, would I increase insulin, if it was already causing me to crash. I aske her to make sure the Dr understood that I just had a low of 37. She calls me back later and said, that is what he wanted and he knew I had a low. This was not my first low I had, but it was the lowest I dropped, and I had breakfast 2 hours before that. I told my mom what the Dr wanted and told her it did not sound right at all and she even agreed it was not right. I decided I was not going to do it and I would just make adjustments myself.

Now remember, this is the same Dr who said no that uncontrolled diabetes will not cause a miscarriage and this is the same Dr, who I never seen for my GD after I had my son. He knew I had a family history of diabetes as well. I guess because I did not fit his profile of HIS typical looking, overweight and old person, that it meant I did not stand a chance of having diabetes. He also did not have diabetes his self, but hey he studied it in school, so you would think he would know what the heck he is doing. Oh and also when he put me on the insulin, he said he would have to guess how much I needed to start with because he was not sure to to calculate it. This should have been a dead ringer for me, that this Dr didn't know his a** from the hole in the wall, but hey, what did I know. I was brand new to all this diabetes stuff.

While writing my custody case, I researched diabetes myself. I was worried about the chances of my kids getting it and what to know what I could do to either help them not get it or at least not anytime soon, plus I thought it would help my case as to why the kids needed to be with me full time. I learned about the signs to watch out for, that if you have this, this, and this, it's probably diabetes. I knew now why my eyes were blurry, causing headaches, thirsty, frequient bathroom trips, tired all the time, hot/cold flashes ( I really thought I was going through menopause, scary thought for me).

I was shocked when I had toalked to my new OB about my first miscarriage and found out that oh yes, diabetes most certainly can cause you to miscarry. I researched it online as well and found out any time your blood sugar is over 200, it will cause your embryo to deform, which in return will cause your body to reject it. Hmmmmmmmm, funny how my endocrinologist had no clue what so ever of this. I was not his first pregnant patient and I am sure I won't be his last, but you would think during his training for diabetes that it would have been mentioned some where. Maybe he was out sick that day of class.

Well in Feb of 2011, I found out I was pregnant again. I thought 3rd times a charm. I really wanted this pregnacy because I really wanted to baby born in Oct. I love the fall season and Halloween is my favorite holiday. Plus I already have one kid who was born in the other seasons. My OB put me in the hospital that day, because my blood sugar was still not under control. During my stay, I found out that stress is not a friend to diabetics and will cause your blood sugars to go way up. I met a new endocrinologist, who was in the same office as the one I was already seeing. He was great and a type 1 diabetic, which as of Jan we found out I went from a type 2 to a type 1, guess my pancreas just could not keep up any longer. I mean it was over 6 years since I had GD. I also found out that my endocrinologist should have tested me after I had Caden to see if the GD went away and it was just pregancy related or if the GD triggered my diabetes. You can guess which one it did.

So I talked with this new Dr and it was clear I had to get on an insulin pump. He showed me his pump. I had heard about the OmniPod and while I was at the hospital I researched it and thought it would better suit my lifestyle. I also like the fact that I did not have a tube hanging off me, which with Caden, I could see him pulling it way more then I would like. Ahhhhh Caden, he is a sweet, loving and great kid, but I swear he waers side blinders and he is still trying to get back inside of me. When ever Caden lays in bed with me to watch tv and cuddle, his feet are all over the place, including my stomach. Which is where I would have to wear this pump, so you get the picture of Caden yanking out the tubing all the time.

I asked Dr. Russell if he would be my new Dr. I told him of the problems I had with the other one (Dr. Speed). He agreed and told me to call his office to set it up.

I was taking Sierra to a therapist to help her deal with the divorce and custody since 09. I would talk to him sometimes as well. He suggested that I take stress tabs and super vitamin B complex to help reduce the stress my body was under. So I did and I noticed a difference, unfortunatly it was not soon enough. My custody date was the beginning of March and I found out a few days after the hearing that the baby stopped growing on that day. It was also decided that we would get 50/50 custody and he would gethte kids the first full Monday of the first week of the month to the next Monday and then the 3rd weekend of the month, plus holiday's and vacation time. Then in March of 2012 he would get them every other week. I was fursious. How could this woman who has children herself not care about the well being of my children. The stress way more then I could handle and one of the causes I lost the baby. I was the furtherest in this pregancy at 9 weeks. I was so heart broken. I was also dealing with more then my share of problem at the time as well. Daniel and I had to move out of our apartment
because we could not afford it and we had to move in with his mom, who was lving in the house he was renting before he met me.

In May of 2011 I finally got on the OmniPod and I can tell you it has made a world of difference. I decided to set my blood sugar goals to that of which they would be if I were pregnant, just incase. I figured if I was already at those levels then when I do get pregnant, I would able know what to do.

In Sept of 2010 my A1c was at 10.7. In Oct, just 1 month later it was at 8. By Jan, I got it down to 6 and by time I got pregnant the end of June 2011, it was at 5.6. I had my blood sugars very much under control. As of Oct 2011 my last A1c was at 5.1. My mother who has been a diabetic for over 20 years has never had her A1c below 8, not that she was controlling her diabetes in the first place.

I am now as of Nov 16, 2011, 23 weeks pregnant with a very healthy little girl. My OB wanted me to see a high risk OB, due to my diabetes and my age (40). When I first met this lady, I did not like her. I found her comment of me being too old to have more kids offensive, and trust me I told my regular OB what this lady said to me when I went to see her back in Feb of this year. I mean, I am not the first woman to get pregnant at the age of 40 and I will not be the last. Plenty of older women have healthy babies at my age or even older. This Dr was going off of just my age and the fact that my diabetes was not under control at the time. Well I will show her and I did. I worked my a** off to get control of my diabetes, but I have to admit, it's not hard with being on the pump and I have gotten really good at guessing the amount of carbs I eat at each meal. Once I seen (here is where the visualiztion things helped the most), what a serving size looked like and how much carbs it was, it was locked in to my memory. I also got into the routine of look at the total amount of carbs on the labels when I go grocery shopping. Being on the OmniPod has made having diabetes a piece of cake.

I am not longer overwhelmed by all the information I had been given in class. I just took what I needed and tossed the rest. I have had a couple of times when my blood sugar went a little over 200, but it was also later in my pregnacy and only a couple of times and I corrected it right away. I did worry in the beginning about miscarrying again and it was hard not going to the OB like a high risk person would be. I was more like a normal pregnant woman, which is good, but it still did not help calm my down. I made sure to check the toilet paper everytime I wiped to make sure there was no blood. Once I started to feel her flutter, it made things easier and calmed me down. We passed our test for downs syndrom, and she passed all her other tests as well. I ended up with the same high risk OB I had before. The one who said I was too old to be having more kids and blew her away with how great of control I have my diabetes and how well my baby is doing. It's almost like my body is 20 years old again with no health problems at all.

One thing people in my life learn about me is don't tell me I can't do something, because I will prove you wrong. I may not be book smart, but I am smart when it comes to life and how to deal with what it throws at you. I am also good at writing a court case and would have won it, if I had a judge who knew what the hell they were doing and the laws for family court. I won my divorce on my own, granted my lawyer was the one talking, but it was my words he used. I like how my ex tried to say that we did not seperate on the date I had given and I was able to throw it in his face that I was not sleeping with him when he claimed I was because I was seeing someone else at that time. Yeah, that had to hurt. It also helped that I had phone records of him calling me from his parents house which is 45 mintues away from where I was living. Kind of hard to be there calling me and at my house at the sametime. Even my ex's lawyer was impressed with me. My ex father in law, said It's sad that a person with no college degree was able to out do a great lawyer.

I am still learning about my diabetes and figuring out which foods are good and which ones I really need to stay away from. I found that Dreamfields pasta doe not work for me. It's suppose to have only 5g of carbs that your body counts, but it jacked up my blood sugar, so I will just stick with regular pasta. Chinese food is not diabetic friendly. I have to bolus at least 60gs of carbs just to eat not even a plate full of food. So we don't eat that too much.

Daniel and I are still going pretty strong. We have had our ups and downs, but we pull through it together. He has alot of stress as well and does not show it the way I do. Living with his mother was too much for me. I never felt like it my home, even though I paid my share of the rent and the lease is in Daniel's name, not hers. I see thing differently then she did and it's hard to live under the roof with 2 dominant women. So she moved out, well to the house that is literally right behind ours and only has a fence between us. There are hard feelings on both sides. And my ex knows all too well how I am when you p*ss me off and are put on my sh*t list.

Sierra has her days when she if fine and happy and then there are days when she acts up. She tends to take it out mostly on Daniel. I hate it because the two of them used to be very close and he was just what she needed,  a loving and caring father figure. We do notice that she acts up mostly when she knows she has to go to her fathers. Caden is a carefree go lucky kind of a kids and just goes with the flow of things. He is very excited to be having a little sister and talks about all the things he is going to teach her.

I belong to a website called Babycenter and I am in the March 2012 brith group, I am also in the groups Diabetic mommies and pregnant with diabetes. I came across a post from a girl who is type 1 like me and she had posted the link to her blog about her diabetes. It got me thinking that maybe I should start a blog, so that I can tell my story and hope that it may help someone out there. Also I wanted to make people aware of what happened to me with my endocrinologist and how I am a type 1 diabetic because he did not do his job as my Dr. It's sad to know that there really is not much I can do leagally. This is something that never should have happened in the first place. Even when I had GD, he never told me that because of my family history, that my GD could become type 2 or the signs I needed to watch for after I had Caden. It was like, Ok you so you had GD and now that the baby is born, you are back to normal. Someone should have told me the risks. I am thankful that I did eat as healthy as I did, because I think that is what saved my life in the end and unfortunately my first miscarriage. Which was totally unnecessary, if my Dr did his job like he should have.

So if you think there might be a chance or you have diabetes in your family. Know the signs and make sure you are being tested for diabetes. If you are pregnant and have GD, make sure you demand them test you after you have your baby.

Thank you reading my story and I will keep updating on my life and pregnacy are going.

Life with Diabetes

My name is Christine, I am 40 yrs old and I am a type 1 diabetic.

I thought it would be a good idea to tell my story, so othersmight be able to prevent it from happening to them.

Diabetes runs in my family and When I was pregnant with my last child, Caden, I found out 3 months before I had him that I had gestational diabetes. I only had to watch what I ate. I'm not your tyical canidate for diabetes as my Endocrinologist told me. I was not over weight and I ate pretty healthy, but as I learned the hard way diabetes does not care who you are, how you look or what you eat.

I had Caden on Feb. 10, 2005, he was about 5lbs 8oz or so. None of my kids were ever bigger then 5lb 13oz. I was induced with Caden due to infected hemorriods one week before my due date. Everything went fine with delivery and Caden was perfect.

I went home 2 days after I had him and did like any other normal new mom, took care of her new baby. I seen my OB 6 weeks later and was good to go. I never seen my Endocrinologist again. I thought my GD was gone and that was it, nothing more to due, right? So I went on with my life, a year later we moved to a new state for now ex-husbands job. Every now and then I would notice my eyes had a hard time focusing on things that were in the distance, this has never happened to me before, but I played it off as my eyesight might not be as good as before. I only needed glasses for reading.

Again, I noticed I was more tired then before, very depressed. I thought it was due to my marriage and the problems I was having, not being happy and really missing my home and family. I would get these really bad headaches from my eyes and it started to become harder to drive at night as the headlights would hurt my eyes. I finally broke down and had my eyes checked in late 2008. Everything was fine, my vision was still the same, only reading glasses.

My marriage was at the end, my husband put in for a postion back in his home state and left me and the kids. I was stuck in a house that was going into forclosure, no job, no way to pay bills, or pay for day care so I could work. I had only 1 (one) friend who lived about 20 minutes from me and 1 (one) friend who lived at least 30 minutes away. Neither of them were really able to help me out. So I had not choice, but to go back to my husband. I tried to make it work, but when you are no longer in-love with someone it does not matter how hard to try, it just is not going to work.

So we seperated in April of 09, we had paid almost 1 yr of rent up front, so I did not have to worry about paying rent and I still had access to our bank account, which I used to pay bills. When I am stressed out or upset, I don't eat. So I was living on one or two meals a day and a lot of coffee. I lost over 20 lbs in just 2 months. I noticed my eyes getting blurry again on and off and the headaches they caused. I also started to notice the frequent bathroom trips during the middle of the night, it was like I was pregnant again, (although that was totally impossible), and I was thristy a lot more as well. Not any drink would do it for me, it had to be either water or unsweet iced tea and it had to be ICE cold. I would wake up during the middle of the night so thirsty.

I talked to my mom about all of these symptoms I was having and she had no clue what it could be, she thought maybe depression and stress due to me going through the seperation and now custody. I finally had to get a job in Oct. I knew I could get a waitressing job fast and at least have cash on hand when ever I worked. I thought my tips would be pretty good. Someone suggested going to Cracker Barrel, because you can do really good in tips and they are always hiring. So I went and applied and got the job.

It was nice to get out and meet new people. I made some friends and in a couple of months. I started going out after work with these new friends to Applebee's to have a bite to eat and maybe a drink. I got a bunch of people to go out with me for my birthday. There was one guy at work, who I thought was cute, he was funny and seemed like a really nice guy. Well, we all went to Applebee's for my birthday, including this guy. We sat and talked at the bar. It felt really good to be getting out. For so long I felt like I was missing out on life and that I was not attractive anymore. My ex made me feel like I was only there for one thing and that was sex. He said he could not keep his hands off me, but I seen it differently. I felt like I was a piece of meat and was groped all the time, I did not feel like a woman and it actually brought back the memory of when I was molested.

Hanging out with these new friends and some of them being guys, they would flirt with me and I have to admit, it felt so good. I liked feeling like I was a sexy woman, who guys found attractive. What girl would not feel good with getting attention? So, on this night the one guy from work decided he would get a little frisky and rub on my thigh, I was wearing a short school girl skirt, yeah I know I was asking for it, lol. Nothing happened. I went home alone, which I was fine with. I start texting him the next few days. My daughter, Sierra, was in a musical thing at school, so I asked this guy if he would like to come with me and he said sure. It was nice, he was really good with Sierra and Caden. He took us to dinner afterwards and even drew our names on a napkin with a heart around it, I still have it. The date was Dec. 15, 2009. It was when we first started dating.

His name is Daniel, and he has gone through a lot with me in these almost past 2 years. My divorce and custody battle, he has been great with my kids and Sierra really took to him. Daniel reminds me a lot of my step father Sid, who passed away in Jun of 96. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him and think of him. I always wanted to be with someone just like him and Daniel is pretty darn close. He is always happy and up beat, he looks at life as the glass being half full. He made me feel good about myself and is still teaching me to let go of all this angry I have bottled up inside of me. I know it has not always been easy to put up with me, I am very stubborn and pigheaded.

In April of 2010 I got pregnant, Daniel and I moved in together, I had to move out of the house I was in because I could not afford the $1700 rent. So we moved into an apartment. I ended up having a miscarriage in June and I went for and ultrasound to make sure I had passed everything. My OB did a urine test for keytones and it was darker then the dark brown on the bottle. He sent me to the same Endocrinologist I had, when I GD in my last pregnacy. The earliest he was able to get me in was Sept 1st. So I go and they take my blood, and sure enough I was a type 2 diabetic. He put me on Glyburide, but said that if I got pregnant again then I would have to go on insulin. I asked him if he thought my diabetes cause my miscarriage. He said no, that he did not see how it could.

My blood sugars were any where from 250-400. I seen a nutritionist, who swamped me with all kinds of information, my head was spinning. I got depressed again because I did not know how in the world I was going to do all of the things she said I had to do. This was life changing. I mean the biggest thing that kept running through my mind was all the foods that I had to give up now. I love pasta, I'm 1/2 Italian for godsake. I love Italian loaf bread with dinner. I love all kinds of food. I did not eat unhealthy. I am not a big fan of fast foods and can go months (6 or more) without every stepping foot into a fast food place. I loved cooking with fresh foods and using fresh herbs. I hardly ever ate the skin on chicken, thanks to my aunt Sue. I remember long ago when she went on a Weight Watchers diet and told me that the skin on the chicken is fat and will cause you to get fat.

Mind you, I am one of those people who visualize everything, so when she told me this, I could just see the fat building up on my theighs, stomach and butt. Not how I wanted to look. So around age 20 or so, I stopped eating the skin and only had it once in a great while. I started to cook while I lived at home, because to me, my mom used waaaaayyyy too much oil to cook with then I liked and again, I visualized that fat building up. I guess it was good that I pictured things this way, because it made me want to eat better and healthier. I was also never a big soda drinker and I was not a big fan of pizza, thanks to my oldest son, Jacob's, dad. He ate pizza all the time and drank nothing but coke. I can only handle so much of the same food day in and day out for so long. Sweet tea is not a big thing in Connecticut like it is in the south. So I would drink coffee in the morning, sometime OJ or V8 juice and then it was mostly Unsweetend Iced tea for the rest of the day, other then water.

So even though I was not eating unhealthy, I still had to cut out a lot of bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, cake, pie, certain veggies and fruit. I know had to learn to count the carbs of everything I put into my mouth. I was only allowed so many calories a day. I never had to count my calories before. I didn't even know how to begin and when the nutritionist was telling me how to, it was like her lips were moving, but no sound was coming out. I was so lost and felt very overwhelmed with all the information she was trying to cram  into my not working brain. Sure this was easy for her to understand, she went to school to learn this, what in the world makes this crazy lady think that my brain works like hers, and that I had some kind of understanding of calories, carbs and counting before hand is totally beyond me. Oh and did I mention I have a learning disablitly on top of all this. So my brain does not understand the information you want it to in the same way as most people.

I thought I was stressed before, this just made it even worse. I felt so helpless and at wits end that I wanted to take my own life. You know how they say, God never gives you more then you can handle? Well God is not in my shoes.

So to recap all that I had going on at this time, was my divorce, custody, work, dealing with the miscarriage, having a crappy lawyer who did not know what in the hell he was even doing, writing my own divorce case for court and custody case, dealing with Sierra who was going through her own problems and not wanting to go with her father, trying to help pay the rent and bills on a servers pay (which by the way was crap), and now all this diabetes crap as well. I have to honestly say that the ONLY thing that kept me from actually killing myself was my kids. I could not fathom the thought of them having to be raised by my ex and his mother.

My ex is an alcoholic and pot head, he was very good at putting himself and what he wanted before me and our kids, this was another big problem we had in our marriage and why it ended. His mother was good at turning her head the other way. She was all about keeping up the prefect image of we have no problems in this family. My ex's family is all about keeping up with the Jones'. I noticed a big difference in myself and how I would worry about the name brand of clothes I was wearing and if everyone seen that I was wearing Tommy Hilfiger, or drove a nice new SUV, had a nice house to live in. I never cared about these things before. It was all superficial and not who I was. My ex's mother, in my eyes was not a good mother. I mean who goes out and pays $2000 for a dog for their daughter instead of taking her to theapy, when she clearly needed it. My ex's sister was worse with drinking and pot then my ex was. She was very depressed and has been on depression medication since she was a teenager. I am sorry, but there comes a time when you have to say, you need more then just meds to deal with your problems. You need to talk to someone who can help you get through all this. A dog is not that person. Her kids are this way because she allows it and she also does not let them grow up. I swear if my ex would let her, she would still be wiping his a** for him.

So no, these are not the kind of people I wanted to raise my kids. I did not want my kids to become alcoholics and drug users. My life has not been easy and everytime I think I may be getting ahead, I get knocked back down again, but I am a fighter and I will contiune to fight for as long as I am alive.

More to come tomorrow, it is late now and Daniel is home from a long day at work (2 jobs), and I want to spend some time cuddling before he falls to sleep, which only takes him about 2 seconds to do, lol.